DYLAN GREEN, Undergraduate
JS: If you could bathe in a beverage, what would it be?
DG: Coffee. Always coffee.
JS: Interesting. And how do you like Vancouver? Where did you live before coming to Vancouver? Vancouver’s better, right? KIDDING! There are no wrong answers here! Please, go ahead.
DG: I love Vancouver! More accurately, I love the things just outside of Vancouver, like Whistler. The coastal mountains are spectacular and offer so much to explore. Before moving to Vancouver I lived in Keystone, Colorado. I think it snows quite a bit more on average here than in Colorado, so despite the rain, Vancouver is better.
JS: Standard interview question, sorry: What’s your worst feature (and how does it make you an amazing scientist/person?)
DG: My worst feature? I’m probably a bit too impulsive, and constantly torn between skiing and studying. But I’m still in my undergrad; I don’t want to go throwing around the title “scientist” too liberally.
JS: Tell me about your first experiment. Not from your first lab experience, school etc, but your REAL FIRST experiment.
DG: The first experiment I can remember… I might have been six, and my brother and I attempted to build a satellite dish out of a vegetable steamer and a dissected clock radio. I believe that our hypothesis was something along the lines of, “If we plug in the vegetable steamer, then we will be able to listen to aliens”. Wires were held together with duct tape. When we plugged the vegetable satellite into a power outlet my brother received quite the shock. Our mother probably grew a few grey hairs that day. No animals were harmed in the making.
JS: Are you saying your brother is not an animal? Anyway, where do you see yourself in 10 years? How about 50 years? 400 years? I’m talking at a basic level about where do you think you’ll be at but, also, what do you hope to have contributed to planet earth?
DG: In 10 years, if all goes well, I’ll should be roughly 32.
In 50 years I suppose I’ll be in Shady Oaks Retirement watching reruns of Antiques Roadshow.
In 400 years, hopefully a few of my atoms will have migrated into some fellow’s fettuccine alfredo at the Olive Garden.
My interests are quite broad, strange, and always changing. I really don’t know where they’ll take me. Regardless of whether I’m being 32 somewhere, or part of a pasta dish, I hope to make people smile.
JS: Given the way skin cells flake off you’ve probably already accomplished the 400 year goal! I’m sure you were delicious. So, what are you up to when you’re not in the lab? WHAT? YOU’RE NOT ALWAYS IN THE LAB? Just kidding, do tell!
DG: If I’m not in the lab you can probably find me on my way out of the city. Hopefully going (a) skiing, (b) surfing, (c) hiking, (d) cliff jumping, (e) all of the above.
(maybe on the hunt for coffee. see question #1)
JS: Standard interview question #2, really sorry: Tell me about a challenge you faced (and totally overcame).
DG: Man, I’m only 22! I think the greatest challenge I’ve faced so far would be the social gauntlet that is adolescence. I made it out of high school, got into a great university, and am just a few credits shy of graduating. So far so good?
JS: Indeed. So, if you were to come into the lab one morning (it’s ok to leave the lab to sleep at night, sometimes) and find that someone had brought in your favourite edible treat to share with the lab, what would that favourite edible treat be?
DG: My first reaction to this question, no joke, was “deep fried okra”. But that’s absolutely not an acceptable answer. I suppose malted milk balls would be the correct response.
JS: WRONG! Deep fried okra WAS the right response! And you were the only one to answer it! But then you recanted! This just goes to show you: always go with your gut.